bombs away

I just FedExed my application for the Read Preacher/Scholar Award. The deadline is the 31st. Dunno when they'll announce the results. I had a dream the other night that it was down to me and another preacher, and the awards committee couldn't decide. The flew us both to Manhattan for a preach-off. I felt like Rabbit in "8-Mile" -- only much, much prettier.

"Snap back to reality,
woop there goes gravity
This is not that easy
want my Manhattanny..."

good dog

She's half the dog she used to be.

shaggy old dog --> sun doggess
















Hair's too heavy to lift her head --> not anymore
















pathetic to chillin' in just a few hours

update

The Commission on Ordained Ministry in the Diocese of Chicago has invited me to the Ministry Discernment Weekend, February 9-11. Jane said the bishop called her on Saturday to talk with her about me. The seminary Dean said the bishop also called him. Along with a third person, I think I've assembled references with the most cred I can think of. I feel way more confident going into this meeting than I did for the last. I have a clear idea of what will happen there and the expectations. So, yeah, I've been on this road before, but it's been paved over and there are street lights, stripes and a sidewalk.

finding sabbath

I want my life back now. I'm ready.

I've been thinking about the amount of hours I put into my work here. My first year at seminary was spent trying to fit all the things I had to do into a mere 24 hours. Every waking moment was spent reading or writing. Most of my moments were waking, not sleeping. I don't require a lot of sleep typically, but "tired" became my norm. Second year was much the same, as was the start of my third year. Living in hyperschedule long enough changes one's perception of scheduling in general.

During GOE week -- of all times -- I became aware of my habitual ignoring of sabbath time. (*bashfully*) I guess I kind of forgot. That Thursday I had off was one of the best days off I've had in, well, years. I had a great breakfast, went to the movies, for a walk, relaxed. I was very well-rested for the last two days of testing. That got me thinking: why don't I have a day off more often? I remember spending nearly every Saturday morning with my sister. Those were very good days. Somewhere along the line I forgot what taking regular time off was like.

I mentioned this edgy new concept of regular sabbath time to a colleague of mine. He said, "Oh yes, I'm intentional about taking one evening off every month." Huh?! Um... I was thinking of something more frequent than that. "You mean like an evening off every other week? That's a lot." Gentle readers, I have heard it said by many a clergy person that priests are just like everyone else. If that's the case, then why does the idea of taking a whole day off every week sound so shocking? I touched on the topic in a meeting last week. When I said I was not going to put in a million hours at the office, that I planned to keep regular and reasonable hours, the clergyperson present guffawed, "Let me know how that goes."

I'm told that clergy, from muckety-muck bishops to garden-variety priests (I use those terms affectionately), put in an average of 50-70 (80?) hours per week. I've worked hours like that before, but never long-term. I can see that during busy seasons more time is needed to square away all the things that need to be done; but these hours on a regular basis!? Hold the phone. I present for your consideration the first thing I learned in EMT school: "I am the most important person here." Not a statement of arrogance, but rather this mantra acknowledges that if I get in trouble on a scene I'm no good to help anyone else. In other words, if I'm tired and overworked, my ability to be effective on the job is hampered. The translation in seminarian-speak is roughly "self-care."

The bigger question is, what am I rushing for anyways? There will always be work to be done. I can find busy-work, and in my imagination inflate its importance to critical-work, and keep every waking moment of my day occupied. Will that make for less work tomorrow? Will that somehow make the rest of the week easier? Not with an overinflated perception of importance.

At the pace I've been keeping for two and a half years I can't even keep a houseplant alive! The time off I've been giving myself has been haphazard at best. A few hours here, a coffee shop jaunt there, really doesn't amount to time off, and certainly not anything close to sabbath. Seminary has taught me many good habits, but sabbath is not one of them.

Something is going to change, and it's starting this week. Today is my sabbath time. I'm going shoe shopping -- and for me that can take all day. Maybe I'll go to a movie too. Afternoon tea is a must. This is the beginning of a regular and reasonable schedule. In the future I hope to take Friday and Saturday off. That's like a weekend. I remember those.

better -- thank you

As quickly as it came on, whatever ailment I experienced last weekend is now gone. Still don't know what it was, and don't care to. Thanks for all your kind posts, e-mails, and hallway well-wishings. And to my anonymous commentors, I do appreciate your wisdom, on this matter as well as others. I would ask that you leave your name, though. I'd like to know who you are.

Peace and good health to all.

pharmacillogical

Why can't they fill that last space in the blister pack? I mean, would it be that bad to put two more pills in the last space to complete the card?

ooww-eee!

What does a sinus infection feel like?

Anyone...?
Anyone...?

who with the what now?

Now that I've emerged from testing mode, I've rediscovered a whole world of deadlines that I have to meet once again. I find myself shaking off the blinders of intense thinking and writing, and have to get back into step with the rest of the world. I have to admit it was nice for a while to hold up my hand and just say "GOEs," and watch people stand down, no questions asked. Maybe I can still use it for a while before anyone notices.

On the whole I thought the questions were all fair and reasonable. Some were more challenging than others. For most I would have liked more time to edit and polish. Hey, in three and a half hours, you get what you get, right. I did my best. I tried to give full and complete answers to the questions asked. I think I made up a new word in one answer -- tenderest: adj. the most tender a thing can be. Oh dear gentle Jesus, I'm not going to sustain that one. (Honestly, I'm not that anxious.)

When we finished with the last set, the chaplain coordinator (first year students function as chaplains for the seniors -- Seabury tradition) had a table set up in the cloister with champagne for toasting. As people passed throught the hall to deliver their papers to the librarian we cheered as though they were running the last few meters of a marathon. It was fun way to finish. The VP for Development hosted us for lunch at her house to celebrate. One of the Middlers played Hymn 208 ("The strife is o'er, the battle done, the victory of life is won; the song of triumph has begun. Alleluia!") on the carillon for us. Cool. Last night we had a fire circle in the back yard. Tonight there's a dinner at the Dean's house for us. Work hard, play hard.

So... how did you do with your answers to the Home Version?

GOE:The Home Version - day 4

... and finally...

SET 7: Holy Scripture

OPEN BOOK

Christians have used the Psalter in prayer for two millennia. The BCP divides the Psalms into portions for daily prayer so that the entire Psalter can be read every month. Praying the psalms in this way exposes the worshiper to a complex body of poetry that includes the language of violence and vengeance.

In an essay of three pages, explain how Psalms 58 and 59, with their language of violence and vengeance, can be prayer for Christians. In your response, use two interpretive approaches to the study of Scripture: at least one historical-critical method, and another from any period of church history.

GOE: The Home Version - day 3

SET 5: Theory and Practice of Ministry

A terminally ill, 32-year old mother of two small children has been told by her physician that there is nothing more to be done to cure her cancer. After admitting her to the hospital for palliative care, the physician asks you, as the hospital chaplain on duty, to visit this woman. Upon entering her hospital room, you find a group of her friends insisting that she will be healed if only she has more faith and prays harder. It is clear that the woman is greatly distressed, and has questions about God's presence with her in this trauma. The friends, looking up and seeing you, tell the woman they will leave so that the pastor can affirm what they have been sharing with her. When you reach the bedside, the woman asks, "Do I have enough faith?"

In a three-page essay,

What is your response to this dying woman? Be sure to include both theological and pastoral considerations in your answer.

Detail the complexities and risks of your theological and pastoral responses, indicating awareness of your own assumptions.

SET 6: Christian Ethics and Moral Theology

There are many different kinds and degrees of lying. Some would argue that under certain circumstances some form of lying is morally acceptable. Others would argue that lying is always wrong.

Is lying ever appropriate? Address this question in a three-page essay, articulating clearly the principles and reasoning process you are using to reach a Christian moral position on lying. Indicate in your reasoning process how scripture, Anglican tradition and experience inform the moral position that you propose.

intermission

The good folks at GOE headquarters gave all us test-takers today off. On the first day of testing I didn't like the idea of a day off right in the middle of the test. By lunch yesterday I was looking forward to it. I crashed last evening in front of the TV. I never crash -- I nap. Naps are deliberate short-term dormant periods. Crashing just happens. The last thing I remember is telling Kathryn I'd finish building the new shelving unit while she went out. Next thing I know she's standing in the front door asking me why I'm watching basketball. "Huh...? Basketball...?!? Aren't you going to be late for your meeting...?" Ah well.

Today I started out with a plate full of Dad's Dirty Eggs for breakfast. Kathryn and I went to see "Night at the Museum." I love Dick Van Dyke. Next to Rexie, he was my favourite character. I happened to see "Mary Poppins" on TV last week. Nobody does physical humor like Van Dyke. There's an ottoman at the Dean's house that I nearly tripped over at a soire not long ago and I thought of the old TV show. Tripping over the ottoman is funny every single time. later I'll cuddle up with a book in front of the fireplace that I'll drop into the DVD player. A cup of tea, classical music, cat in lap, dog at feet -- a nice day off from testing.

GOE: The Home Version - day 2

Set 4: Christian Theology

A member of the parish where you are a priest asks you, "I was leafing through The Book of Common Prayer and read the definition of Jesus' divine and human natures on page 864. What actual difference does it make to me if Jesus is both human and divine?"

In a three-page essay, respond to the parishioner's query, integrating the following two questions:

As the church wrestled with understanding the nature(s) of Jesus, what was at stake at
the Council of Chalcedon (451 A.D.)?

What difference does it make to us today, as we live and proclaim the Good News?

N.B.: Historical accuracy is important, but making the contemporary case for the doctrine (i.e., apologetics) is more important than wealth of detail.

SET 4: Contemporary Society

"When a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong. The stranger who sojourns with you shall be to you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God." (Leviticus 19:33-34, RSV)

"Jesus said, 'The first commandment is this: Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is the only Lord. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.'" (BCP 351, Mark 12: 29-31)

It has been said, "No leap of theology is required to place ministry to displaced, uprooted persons in a fundamental relationship to our Christian calling." The mass movement of peoples from one place to another, be it on account of natural disasters, or for political, economic or religious reasons, is not a new phenomenon, as history teaches us. But in today's world, the complex problems it can bring about have taken on particular urgency in many countries throughout the world. Opinions vary widely about how to solve such problems.

In a three-page essay,

Outline major social concerns inherent in such large-scale relocation, and

Elucidate what you consider to be the essential elements in a Christian perspective on them.

In your essay, use resources from scripture and tradition and, as appropriate, from your own knowledge and experience, illustrating your response with at least one example of a contemporary situation involving the mass migration of peoples.

GOE: The Home Version

Think you're prepared? Try it for yourself.

Set 1: Liturgy and Church Music

Compare Eucharistic Prayer 2 from Enriching Our Worship and Prayer I, Rite I from the Book of Common Prayer 1979. In an essay of three pages describe the theological similarities and differences in the structure and content of these prayers, addressing the following:

What does each prayer say about who we believe God to be?
How does each prayer understand what it is to be human?
How does each prayer understand the community that is praying?
What does each prayer say we believe is happening when we celebrate the Holy Eucharist?


Set 2: Church History

In a three page essay, respond to the following:

The Crusades were complex events that had religious, military, political, and socio-economic aspects. Describe three characteristics that were specifically religious.

Identify at least one way the medieval church theologically justified the Crusades.

The concept of "crusading" has survived into modern times. Explain how post-Reformation Christian churches, groups or movements have continued to use the idea of crusading to bring about social, political, or religious change, illustrating your answer with at least two examples.

You have three and a half hours per set. Go.