St. Andrew's Service

Dear Santa,
What I really want is a telephoto lense.












(...and a more comfortable place to shoot from)










This was as close as I could get. Not too shabby, though.


I saw a side of people I've never seen before.
I got a big smile and a, "thank you," from the Liturgics Professor, so I guess we did okay.

back to work

Okay, break time is over.

Had a good visit with my awesome sister Trish. We packed in quite a lot in her three-day stay. This is my favorite holiday because I love to entertain and cook, yes I do. The kitchen is my domain, the food my pallette, the table my canvas. I brined the turkey for Thursday-- a technique I picked up from Wolfgang Puck -- and it turned out alright for a T'gvg feast. We saw the new Harry Potter film. We toured Chicago. We dined and played with a lively group from the seminary, graciously hosted by one of the faculty members on Friday. I'm so glad she finally got to meet some of the people I've been telling her about. Saturday we people-watched at the airport waiting for her plane to board. Trish, if you're reading this, I found the coffee cart. It was *just* out of sight from where we were sitting. Ain't that just like that.

Plans are already underway for my visit with her for an extended Christmas visit. We'll go to Maine and I can replenish the ocean water in my viens. Ah, for the salt sting on my face. Hope there's a cold sea breeze waiting for me. Tea by the Sea is calling.

BUT...

I have a ton of work to do before then. Best to get started.

quiet on the set...

Cue the lonely harmonica.

Roll the tumbleweed.

...and Action!

All is quiet in the seminary ghost town. Deadwood cleared out faster 'n a sawtooth buckdarn on a two-bit sway back. Nothing for an East Coast drifter to do but wait for her sister posse to arrive. Think I'll mosey on down to the saloon for a latte'.

Next week is reading week. No classes. Yee haw.

one down, three to go

Ian and I had our Plunge presentation this morning and it went well. I had taken the last text for the class with me on the trip and read the whole thing. So basically all I have to do is show up for class. All the rest of the work is done. I've got a short paper for Liturgical Music that I can bang out (1) over the weekend and that class will be done too. I just love it when things work out so that I finish early. It's just my competitive nature.




1. By "bang out" I mean of course, a carefully written, well thought-out paper that is clear, concise, relevant to the topic, and properly footnoted using the Chicago Manual Style.

dio. convention

I just wrapped up a two-day tour of duty at the diocesan convention. I volunteered to be a volunteer. It helps wearing a blue apron that says "volunteer." People who wouldn't ordinarily talk to me had to if they wanted to know where the workshops and such were. I like to think of it as building a schmoozing foundation. "Remember me? I told you where the ladies room was at convention last year." Yea ... you don't forget something like that.

Honestly, I'm surprised at the number of people who knew me and came over to talk. I really didn't think I knew that many people. I even connected with some people I thought had moved away. It sure doesn't take long to network around here.

Friday's workshops were more interesting, but sadly I could only go to one at a time. None of Saturday's titles jumped out at me. The Eucharist was pleasingly energetic. I didn't have the credit card on me when I went to the exhibit rooms, and it's good thing, too. The pottery sellers had some beautiful pieces. One of these days I've simply got to get back to the potter's wheel.

Tonight: dinner to make; paper to write; dog to walk.

Honey! I'm home!

It was a great trip I must say. The last few days were more of the same. We met and dined with a few more church members, and took more pictures. We went home via a different route and cut more than 45 minutes off our travel time. We were so excited to get back to our families that we bypassed the Mars Cheese Castle. I'll get back to that next time. And there may well be a next time. Our rector and host family, as well as a few parishioners, really want us to come back. It's tempting.

Our presentation outline only needs the pictures inserted. My ethics paper that I have to write based on a plunge experience is outlined. All the thank you cards to our hosts at St. John the Divine are written and signed, ready to be mailed tomorrow. And I finished all the reading for the rest of the term for the plunge class. I shudder to think of how many books I have to start putting away at the library. In the words of Dory in Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming..."

first sermon

I delivered my first sermon today. You might say I lost my preaching virginity. Last week Joanne asked us to speak on the topic of discernment for today's services. As long as we kept it to 5 minutes, we could talk about it from any angle. Since this was to be my first time I tried to borrow some presentation ideas from some of the preachers I admire. Over the course of the week I learned that this is not a singing congregation. One of the priests at St. Matthews sometimes sings to begin his preaching. It always grabs my attention because I never expect it, and he's got a great voice. I took a chance and began by singing. I channeled Raisin and hit every note perfectly! I don't particularly care for the sound of my own voice, but I have to say I impressed myself. I even got two rambunctious 9 year old brothers to stop what they were doing and listen. One of the faculty members at SWTS uses certain hand gestures and vocal intonations to non-verbally punctuate his ideas. I tried to do that too. Finally, and I don't know exactly from whom I got this, my last sentence was the same as the first. The people seemed to like it and were recalling, sometimes in great detail, the points I was trying to make. Joanne wants a hard copy for the next newsletter. Not bad for my first time, but I think I can do better next time.

*I don't know how to link this entry to a separate page with the text so I'll just put it here.

(singing) "Here I am Lord. Is is I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night."

I love that hymn. It speaks to the discernment process. But it seems to me the hymn has got it backwards.

For myself: first I heard God "calling in the night." God calls at awkward times and in unusual places. And I can tell you from personal experience and Biblical scholarship, that God never asks, "is this a good time?" Sometimes, in my busiest moments, there's a tug, something deflects my attention, and I can't help but notice. But my life is so busy and really, I'm often tugged in many directions, by many people, for many reasons. But throught the night I hear it, I feel it, I am called.

So I ask, "is it I Lord?" Could it be me? Are you asking of me what I think you're asking? There are many things I feel "called" to do. It can be difficult to filter out what the world says and what God is saying. In times like these it's helpful to bring in another person to help discern which is which. It may seem counterproductive to bring yet another voice into the din. But this person: a spiritual director, a trusted friend, a favorite priest, can help quiet the noise, and bring a candle, as it were, into the night -- can help you to hear the voice of God -- can help you to feel the movement of the Holy Spirit in you. It takes time: wonderful time, important time. God has given us all unique gifts, and I believe God has something very special in mind for each and evey one of us; and wants so much to have a relationship with us, one where God can reveal God's self to us, and our part in God's creation.

Discernment is a lifelong process. Our deepening relationship with God is, by nature, transforming, and calls for continual renewal of our understanding of who and what God wants each of us to be.

When, finally, I can hear God's call in the night, and know, without a doubt, that it is my Lord calling me, I can respond, "here I am Lord."

(Sermons lose a lot when they aren't given the inflection of a delivery don't they?)

food for thought

Breakfast with one couple this morning revealed a lot about a key conflict in the history of the parish. We've heard bits and pieces of the story since we got here, but folks are reluctant to give it all up. Best we can do is piece together the fragments. Y'all know how much I enjoy dectective work. Today we managed to find the missing pieces, and fill in the chronology. Then they served dessert! I've never had dessert with breakfast.

Lunch with another couple produced the backbone of my Ethics paper, which I've been struggling to both identify clearly, and get people to talk about. I've got pages of hard data already, but this put the emotional importance on it. It was a very nice visit at which they served a "pastie." It's like a shepherd's pie -- only bigger.

Tonight we dined with our rector and hostess. We continued to probe the leadership style and dig up details about the parish's transitional period. Joanne, the rector, is very accommodating of our questions. She's a wealth of leadership experience. We went to a very nice restaurant. My healthy entree' choice came swimming in a pool of Hollandaise.

When I get back I'm going on a 10-day detox fast.

a difficult lesson in disempowerment

Yesterday we had dinner with what I would characterize as the poster family of the Christian Right. I was forwarned of their leanings. It didn't take long before they themselves spelled it out in no uncertain terms. Our pre-dinner blessing included, "God bless the military, God bless President George W. Bush, and God bless America."

For the sake of our mission here: to learn about parish conflict, leadership, etc., I made the choice to keep my personal life *very* personal. When they asked me if I was married, I said, "yes, we have cats, not kids," and hoped to leave it at that. They pressed on. Long story short: I responded to all the rest of the questions trying very hard not to use pronouns, and ultimately acquiesed to the assumption of being married to a person who doesn't exist. Ian did his best to change the subject asap. By the end of the evening we got nothing of what we went there for from these people, and I was exhausted. I made the choice, not out of shame for who I am, but for my own safety. There was no clear route to the door, I was out-numbered, and Ian is too skinny to use as a human shield. Most importantly I made the choice because I thought it would be easier to get information from them if they weren't distracted.

I have never disempowered myself like that before. At the end I asked myself which is worse: being exhausted from answering questions and/or watching other people struggle to figure it out, or dodging, lying, deceiving, and planning how I'm going to explain later? In this instance I think I made the right decision. I really did get a wierd energy from the family. Since I won't have to "explain" myself later, I'm not going to worry about it this time. But I have decided that in the future I will never again disempower myself like that. I was useless and distracted -- the very thing I was trying to avoid in them.

Today, Ian had the bad day. We met the other staunch conservative couple for breakfast. I thought they were very nice, but Ian did not have a good time at all -- no, not in the least. On our drive home tonight I saw a side of Ian I never knew, nor never thought possible.

As a consolation for our troubles we stopped at the "Bat & Brew," a roadside bar somewhere between Burlington and Union Grove. You know the place: it's at the intersection just past the corn field, but before the corrections house. The beer was watery, the air was smoky, but the company couldn't be beat.

winning scratch ticket $250!

Wouldn't that be nice? My titles are getting boring so I thought I'd ramp it up a bit.

We got enough information yesterday to get a good start on our presentation format. I got some good pix too.

The All Saints' Day service was ... interesting. Fortunately the pianist was there to even the numbers of people on the altar and in the pews. Toss in a basketball and we could have had a good four-on-four pick up game. A couple days ago Ian and I helped clean out the votive holders for the service. There were close to 200 multi-coloured, glimmering lights on the altar when we were done. I lit one for Kari, one of K's cousins who died too soon, and one for my Godmother Anne Flaherty. Afterwards we all gathered 'round the piano to sing, um, All Saints' Carols (!?). It was fun, and slightly peculiar.

More meetings today.